cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
do nipples grow back?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize