Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
