woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
