yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize