drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
