Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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