I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
