im six kinds of drunk right now
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
