Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
