i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Randomize
