scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
