I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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