Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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