i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
