dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Operation Purity has been aborted
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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