Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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