We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just want nice things and good sex
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
