what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
