Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize