I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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