People in love make me want to vomit
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
