I think i peed on brittanys purse
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
