..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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