Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
