the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
