it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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