so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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