I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
