franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
