Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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