i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize