Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
