Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
