I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
