I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
