so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
