Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
