my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
