Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
