do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
