my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
MIDGETS
????
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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