it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
