You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
