i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
