She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
