Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
