After last night, I could never be a politician.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize