You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I know her cup size but not her name....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
