I think scott just propositioned me for sex
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
