Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Terrible idea I love it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
