He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We left the knife in your bed.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
