Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
