Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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