i don't like sucking hair
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
