I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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