He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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