I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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