After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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