Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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