I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
