I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
