dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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