I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
