Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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